And Your Little Dog, Too

In the midst of the "dog days of summer" I found myself on the receiving end of yet another piece of pretty terrible news.  My sweet, loving, wonderful boxer, Maddy, is suffering from neurological degeneration.  Mind you, she has never been a robustly healthy dog.  When we adopted her, when she was only about 3 (or so we were told), she had thyroid issues, and within months we discovered that she also had a pretty bad case of hip dysplasia and arthritis.  After experimenting with doses medication for her hips, we settled on an anti-inflammatory that ended up causing problems in her liver.  So she was taking 2-3 pills per day for her hips, 2 per day for thyroids, and 1 a day to counteract the liver damage caused by the hip meds (and this one has to be taken an hour before she eats dinner).  In the past year, she has had surgery to remove two Stage II mast cell tumors and one abscessed tooth.

So when she started to seem unstable on her back legs, feet going out from under her, stepping on the tops of her feet, I wasn't altogether surprised.  We have friends whose boxer had this happen.  Still, when the vet confirmed my fears, I was extremely upset.  Basically, what happens is that their muscles become paralyzed over time, and along the way, they just lose their mobility in the back legs.  There are things that I can, and will, try.  She is on two medications for pain and to try to slow the progression.  She seems at least less on edge with them.  I'm taking her to alternative veterinary treatment specialists to see if the underwater treadmill or acupuncture might help.  It won't be cheap, and it won't be covered by my pet insurance.  But she is my fur baby and I love her.  When we get to the point where nothing is helping make her comfortable, I will do what's best.  I know that it will be very hard for her as this goes on with the baby and my parents' dog, who is in excellent health, cavorting around.

Boxers don't have particularly long life expectancies.  They are prone to a variety of issues - cancer (check), hip problems (check), heart problems, bloat...  And Maddy isn't a puppy.  She is at least 6, and looks older with her gray face.  But just in June, she was running on the beach in Florida and Nantucket.  This came on fast, and it pains me to see my sweet solid pup falling down and wobbling when she walks.  So even though I had no unrealistic expectations on how long she would be with me (especially after the two tumors within 4 months), this news hit me hard.

And you know what did not help?  My mom getting touchy when I wasn't exactly at my best.  Oh, I'll admit it - I was snapping at her.  I was a bit overzealous in what I like to call my "constructive criticism."  But, as I pointed out when she asked me IN A RESTAURANT if I thought I was depressed, because I had been so snippy and seemed to have a flat affect when I wasn't being rude, my husband died less than 6 months ago and my dog was just handed a death sentence!  Are you kidding me?  You want me to be Miss Manners when I am coping with the knowledge that I am soon to lose the first and only pet JP and I had together?  I wanted to scream "F YOU!" and plead widow mouth.  But I didn't.  I just cried.

Anyhoo.  I am so sad about Maddy.  She is seriously the sweetest dog ever.  So silly, so loving, so wonderful.  When we got her, I was unemployed and it seemed like the perfect time to start our family. We always knew we would get a dog before having kids (just to make sure we could take care of another being, we joked).  We were referred to a great boxer rescue organization and I filled out the (long) application.  During the phone interview (seriously, I felt like I was trying to adopt a kid - their process was so thorough!) I was told that they usually don't like to adopt dogs out to the city, and that if she had known we were in a condo they probably wouldn't have even talked to me (!)  But she said they would call when they had a dog that could be a fit.  We got the call a month later.  And on February 8 of 2009 (I remember the date because it was my birthday), we drove way out into the suburbs to meet a big male boxer named Coleman.  We had to bring pictures of our home, and answer a new battery of questions before we could even meet the dog.  As it turned out, they had a new dog, a female, who had just showed up, and a family had met her but didn't want her because she had some bald spots on her haunches (due to untreated hypothyroidism).  They thought this might be a better fit for us, and referred to her as a "tea party boxer" due to her mild demeanor.  We met her first.  She came in and just pranced around the room, and I fell head over heels in love with her.  Her name was CeCe, but they said we would have no trouble renaming her.  We did meet Coleman, and he was a fine specimen.  But we also saw the way he reacted to other dogs, and I could just see myself being dragged down my street (heavily populated by dogs) on my face by an 80-pound mound of muscle on a tear afar some poor Chihuahua.

We told them not to bother putting CeCe's pictures on the website - she was the dog for us.  We were going on vacation to St. John, but made an appointment to come pick our girl up after that.  And on February 24 (which was Mardi Gras), we brought our baby girl home.  Here are a couple pictures of the drive home from Boxer Rebound:

Maddy was never "just a dog" to us.  She was our baby, and that did not change when Max came along.  She was our first step toward becoming a family and I have so many amazing memories of this sweet, loving, not very bright dog.  Such as....

The three of us standing outside in the freezing cold at night trying to get her to do her business...before we learned that she'll do what she needs to do when she needs to do it.

Epic battles to get her to go out in the rain (which included some tears on my part, her seeming to grow roots, and JP and I looking like fools as we carried our 60-pound tough-looking dog far enough away from the building for her to give up on trying to get back under the doorway).

One really fun trip to the dog beach (during which she did not swim or interact with any other dogs) and one horrible trip to the dog beach (during which she got attacked by two large male boxers, whose owners just got control of them as JP was winding up to punch one of the dogs in the face).

 Maddy with my brother at the dog beach...and recovering from her run-in with the bullies.

Obedience lessons...taught by two little old ladies who spent about half of each class slowly telling stories about their dogs (I think the one class JP came to involved a story about a dog rolling in poop...) And no, the lessons didn't do much good at all.

Learning all of the stores on our street that had biscuits, and being rather embarrassed about the fact that I was dragged into a makeup store every day so she could get a treat...where I never bought anything.

Here she is waiting outside her favorite store...at about 9pm:

The fact that the farthest she would ever really walk was to the dog store 4 blocks away.  Except when I was 9 months pregnant and it was 90+ degrees - then she would want to walk for an hour!

Letting her sleep in the bed with us - which always ended up being a mistake.  Not only did she take up half the bed, but she snored and jerked and kept us up all night.

Cuddling on the couch with her watching TV - though she basically only wanted to cuddle with JP.  The two of them would spend hours just snuggling on the couch.

Dressing her up for holidays.  Poor dog...

Halloween 2009 - in a home-made spider costume...

 As a lobster in 2011 (also wore that one in 2010)

 She didn't mind the party hat when the cupcakes came out...this one was in a newspaper

 Even St. Patrick's Day gets a costume...

 Fourth of July, too

Having to console her during every thunderstorm, fireworks display, and air show.  Also the fact that she is scared of pretty much any noise - trucks, wind, noises she herself makes...

Seeing how amazing she was with Max from the very beginning.  She is so gentle, so calm, so patient.  Yes, she got a bit needy with me and JP, especially JP, but she is a great big sis.

She loved nothing more than laying on the couch on the balcony.  She and JP would watch people on the street, and she would go in and out depending on how sunny it was.

Like so many dogs, Maddy gets SSSOOOO excited every time anyone comes through the door.  Even if I was only gone an hour, she put on a fantastic display of tail wagging and running around.

That tongue...JP always let her lick his face.  Me, not so much.

The first shower we gave her!  JP took her in, and she spent the whole time drinking the water (still does that)

My favorite memory of JP with "his girl" as he called her, was something that happened every day when he came home from work.  She would hear him coming up the stairs and run to the back door.  He would open it, whisper "who's there?" and close it again before she could get her nose out.  She would run back to me, crying.  He would do this for a couple minutes before opening the door and his arms for her to tumble into them.  It was so sweet.  Until I sold the condo 2 months after his death, Maddy was expecting him to walk through that door.  His brother even mentioned it in the eulogy, and my dad mentioned their game in the eulogy he did.  They loved each other so, so much.  She was definitely a daddy's girl.

Big-eyed over her favorite treat - ice cream!

Words can't express how much this dog means to me.  The idea that I may very well lose her in the same year as JP is almost unthinkable.  But I will try not to dwell on that.  I will try to make her life as good and comfortable as possible, and add to the wonderful memories we share.