A Good Cry

I believe in the therapeutic qualities of a Good Cry.  I cry a lot these days - showering, reading about the RNC (no, not because of my political leanings, but because JP would have been there, and I would have been getting calls and texts about the events), brushing my teeth, walking the dog (especially walking the dog since she is having so much trouble with that activity these days).  I will shed a few tears here and there throughout the day.  But what I'm talking about is that special type of cry - the sobbing, ugly, wrenching tear-fest that requires a box of tissues and privacy.

Yesterday I heard Miranda Lambert's "Over You" while driving Maddy home from her therapy session.  That song speaks to me in a deep, profound way.  Here are the lyrics:  

Weather man said it’s gonna snow
By now I should be used to the cold
Mid-February shouldn’t be so scary
It was only December
I still remember the presents, the tree, you and me

But you went away
How dare you?
I miss you
They say I’ll be OK
But I’m not going to ever get over you

Living alone here in this place
I think of you, and I’m not afraid
Your favorite records make me feel better
Cause you sing along
With every song
I know you didn’t mean to give them to me

But you went away
How dare you?
I miss you
They say I’ll be OK
But I’m not going to ever get over you

It really sinks in, you know, when I see it in stone

Cause you went away,
How dare you?
I miss you
They say I’ll be OK
But I’m not going to ever get over you

Seriously, with the exception of the line about the records (JP wasn't really into music with the exception of 90s stuff - his love of Sugar Ray was an ongoing joke among our friends...), this could have been written for us.  Mid-February...on the tail of our first, and only, Christmas as a family...

And of course the piece itself is just one of those ones that hits you - her voice is so beautiful and haunting and there is so much feeling to it.  

So anyway, I had myself a serious cry - it was enough to make the homeless guy asking for money at one of the stoplights bypass my vehicle...

And then I did something I have not done since I was in grade school - I joined a fan club.  Yep, I signed up for Miranda Lambert's fan club.  Because I wanted to share my story about how the song has touched me, and how it has and will continue to play a significant role in my journey through grief and my life in general.  And it felt good to share in a forum that is removed from my usual haunts...

One more thing on the topic of tears/crying, here is an interesting article:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-freedom/201007/the-health-benefits-tears

If you don't want to read the whole article, here are some take-aways that I found particularly interesting:

• Emotional tears consist of stress hormones - the act of crying purges these and other toxins that result from stress.
• Studies indicate also that endorphins are produced by crying.
• Crying can heal the heart, and the "waves of tears" that wash over people following losses are our bodies' way of alleviating stress and sorrow.  The act of crying can actually help us avoid sinking into depression.

Next time one of my friends says something about JP that makes me cry, and feels bad for it, I will mention this article to them.  I'll tell them not to feel bad, that in fact they are helping me rid my body of some nasty stress hormones and toxins.  That's what friends are for.